• Get Anything You Want by Allowing Mutual Blackmailability

    by Alexander Becker

    What do the concepts of mutual blackmailability, guaranteed mutual destruction or mutually assured destruction, compound interest, and reciprocity have in common?

    Mutually Assured Destruction

    Mutual assured destruction (MAD) is a doctrine of military strategy in which a full-scale use of nuclear weapons by two opposing sides would effectively result in the destruction of both the attacker and the defender. It is based on the theory of deterrence according to which the deployment of strong weapons is essential to threaten the enemy in order to prevent the use of the very same weapons. The strategy is effectively a form of Nash equilibrium, in which both sides are attempting to avoid their worst possible outcome -- nuclear annihilation.

    Intriguing, isn't it? Let's see what we can learn from the application -- or the non-application -- of a strategic doctrine.

    What at first sounds like a hack from the dark side, turns out to be the way it works on either side, day in, day out.

    Compond Self-Interest

    Here's the deal: I tell you my dirty secrets and you tell me yours. Then we ask one another for help on both our ways to the top. That's the power of compound self-interest.

    Compound interest, on one hand, is about interest which is added to the original principal. New interest is then calculated, not only on the principal, but also on the interest that has been added. Compound self-interest, on the other hand, is generated, the more the ties between the participants are strengthened, that is to say, the more they know and can possibly and potentially reveal about each other.

    Mutual Blackmailability

    It's a question of chutzpah: How much does it take to practically invite someone to blackmail you?

    Get to know your business partners beyond business and corporate structures, boundaries, and limitations. Share your weaknesses and you are going to share and enjoy your mutual sucesses even more. For one part bragging, add another part blackmailability -- potential humiliation. Trade as much of the latter as possible -- the more you invest, the more you receive in return -- and get anywhere you ever dreamed to be. And beyond.

    By now, you probably think something along the lines of: Funny, how my personal network, at least the part which bears real fruits, is built on these same, exact principles.... Me too. It's not only a strategic doctrine but it seems to be some kind of unwritten social rule. Everyone protects their investment. By everyone trying to avoid the worst possible outcome, new worlds are built.

    Reciprocity

    The trick is not to threaten with annihilation but instead to actively ask for help. Since rejection is not an option, favors are almost automatically granted and returned -- reciprocity is implicit and guaranteed.

    Here is the golden rule of reciprocity --

    ... thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Leviticus 19:18

    The key ingredient to reciprocity is to make people care about you. How? Have them invest their very reputation. Why would anyone do this? Give them an incentive. Your reputation.

    Now, tell me some more about yourself...

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  • Pay What You Owe

    by Alexander Becker

    Everyone has to pay what they owe.

    Whether you pay first and receive later or you receive first and pay later, one thing is for sure: You're going to pay, no matter what.

    Please review the suggested protocol, which is obviously not set in stone --

    1. What? Know what you want.
    2. That. Accept that you have to pay a price.
    3. How much? Determine its exact value for you.
    4. Really? Determine whether the price is worth paying.
    5. Close. Pay and receive or vice versa.

    You wouldn't walk into a store, ask for something, and just take it with you without paying. You want something, you give something in exchange. You want more, you give more. How much is it worth paying for? How badly do you want it? Of course, the more you want it, the more you're prepared to pay. If it's worth having, isn't it worth paying for?

    What about bargaining? Isn't bargaining a sign of less wanting within the pay-for-what-you-want sense?

    Bargaining is a type of negotiation in which the buyer and seller of a good or service dispute the price which will be paid and the exact nature of the transaction that will take place, and eventually come to an agreement.

    Referring to #3 of the above outlined protocol, you determine the exact value for you. Ultimately, you bargain exclusively with yourself.

    Negotiate solely with yourself and know that and what you are going to pay.

    You want it all, I know, but don't you want it all, only to avoid making a decision in favor of the definite outcome, the one thing you really want?

    Now, pay and receive.

    A simple negation, yet, a quality of its own: Do not pay what you do not owe. Very simple indeed but you and only you decide what it is and how much of it you really owe.

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  • The Secret of Building a Strong Reputation

    by Alexander Becker

    This post is part of The Foundations of Your Personal Brand Series.

    Your business depends on your integrity while your integrity depends on delivering what you promise.

    Consider two scenarios. You sense that the new client brings some great business. The first job needs to be completed as soon as possible and you want it to get the follow-up business.

    1. You estimate how long the job takes, you project a completion time that sounds good and acceptable to the client but you know is probably impossible to achieve.
    2. You do not estimate but instead you convince the client that his job will be treated as a priority and will be taken care of with all the resources you have. You immediately start working on the job and you get back to the client as soon as you know the time frame for definitive completion.

    Scenario #1 is based on your belief that the client is off to the competition if the production time seems to conflict with his own projection or deadline. This is fear-based thinking and you end up apologizing (see below).

    Scenario #2 is the way to go. It is your job to communicate that you are the best to get the task done without getting into specifics that will eventually turn out suicidal for your business -- having to deliver on your word despite the fact that everything has changed but the client's mind and expectations. Avoid the trap of running after your own word.

    Your clients and customers take your vague estimates and treat them as promises. It's the only thing they have, after all. Whatever you state, you give your word. Whatever you say, guess, or estimate, make it as accurate as possible or avoid saying anything at all. Do not give any numbers or time frames before getting acquainted with all the required information.

    When stating production or delivery times, it is almost always preferable to generously pad the time needed. Do not over-promise only to prevent the customer from asking the competition for a quote. You will have to apologize to a client you only gained with promising too much only to have him later, unable to leave, wait for your services to complete. You will apologize to a client who won't bring you any more business.

    State accurate times and amounts, to the best of your knowledge, not according to your hopes or fears, even when the services rendered are taking longer than the client expected. Educate your customers about production times and requirements and have them base their estimates and expectations on the newly gained knowledge.

    Your client's deadline is your client's deadline. If you know you won't be on time, immediately communicate this. Make a plan to get as much done as possible, try to help your client with his deadline but never promise the impossible. A client who knows that you do everything to meet his deadline will be your grateful client.

    Compete with vigor, compete fairly, honestly, and trustworthy. Always under-promise and over-deliver.

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